If you’re black and reading this, do us in law enforcement a favor - DON’T FUCKING RUN! Just because Jesse Owens could out run the white man doesn’t mean you can. I’m tired of having to buy new shoes because you dumb motherfuckers think you can just sprint away. Not how it works home boy. Is your life really worth risking over a $16.99 t-shirt for some bitch your fucking? No, but this spearchucker today thought so. How stupid can you be? Someone called the cops about a bald black motherfucker shoplifting. When we approached you, you ran. When we searched you, you had girls clothing tucked inside your hoodie. Come on bro, not even the Trump administration is that stupid. So we busted this bald blackie and took him back to one of our secret spots.  We used our cracka cocks to convince him that stealing dumb shit is a dumb idea. Thank god the darkies ain’t all stupid and know that the easy way, is always the better option for all involved.