You re so sweet for noticing all the weight that I ve lost recently! I, Sydney Screams, didn t lose weight on purpose, but I have been eating healthier and going for more walks lately, so it makes sense that I m looking a bit smaller. My clothes are fitting me better and I ve even had to buy some new clothes because my old ones are too baggy on me now. I ve invited you to join me for walks, but you ve not seemed interested so I just stopped offering. You ve chosen to stay home, watching sports and eating snacks, so of course you re not going to see the same results I m having! But that s not the only reason you ve put on so much weight recently. I actually have a bit of a confession to make: I ve been secretly fattening you up! I didn t want to see my darling husband getting so thin that you just waste away, so I started making all of your favorites but I ve made them all as unhealthy as possible. I like when you re big and fat and soft for me. It s so sexy! I m not going to stop fatte